First

I've been having the longest artist block of my life. When I was in elemantary, I used to build websites constantly. I was praised for being a great designer at such a young age. Now here I sit in front of my black and white templated (not a word? -_-;) blog and I have no clue what to do with it. I'm sure as hell that I want to fill this blog up with beautiful expressions and pictures, but honestly, I have no single clue.

This explains why I'm going to a community college nearby instead of applying to top art-schools in my high school senior year. I feel like a loser and people remind me so by saying "Oh, you're going to a community school? I thought you were, like, a genius or something..". My reply is usually, "I didn't want to immediately go to an expensive private 4-year school and go for a major that I probably will not enjoy. And within two years I might change my majors or even schools, thus, waste my money by doing so."

But honestly, I do not know what I want to do and I didn't even want to go to college yet. I don't feel that I'm ready at all. I do not party like the rest of the kids and the taste of alcohol makes me spaz. I cannot even imagine myself in a dorm, sharing the area with a random stranger that came from thousands of miles away. Maybe it's the fact that I'm the youngest child of the family. No, I'm the only daughter of the family. No, I'm the youngest and the only daughter who is "oops-baby". Apparently the "oops-baby" is a very very very late mistake.. My two brothers are 18 and 16...years older. They're old enough to be my parents. Anyways, I've been born into the most spoiled position of the immediate family. My mom gets mad at me for not being in bed by 11pm. I'm 18 years old for heaven's sake. My dad even picked me up from prom. Maybe it's all the babying that got me here, dumbfounded and not sure of where I'm supposed to go and whether or not if I really want to fly.